Pulling myself out of a spiral.

Written by CLAIRE HOLT | Mar 21, 2024

A few weeks ago, I felt like damaged goods. I’d slipped into my nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I might as well go and eat worms mindset. Just moping around feeling sorry for myself. You’re ugly! You’re a loser! You’re the worst mum! Love when those productive voices roll in to give me a pep talk. I spent a few days in a slump until I remembered that I’m actually in control of how I feel, and that it’s my responsibility to stop the spiral. Now that I’m feeling 10/10 mentally, I thought I’d share the tools I used to get my shit together. 

Five minutes on the pity pot

It’s unrealistic to think that we can just snap our fingers and change our mindset. Especially when legitimately rough things happen. It doesn’t serve anyone to minimize their feelings, or feel guilty for being human. It just can’t go on forever. So I give myself a time limit. Five minutes for the minor stuff (I’d give you 30 if you were ghosted). Cry, scream, punch a pillow, cancel calls. Do whatever you want to feeeeeeeeel it, but when that timer goes off, its over.

Exercise

I know. No one wants to do a bloody spin class when they’ve spent the last hour crying, but in the infamous words of Elle Woods:

“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t just shoot their husbands”

It really does make a difference. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, and a nice long walk is good enough (this has the added bonus of fresh air). Just do something to get your blood pumping.

A cold shower

Also torture but in an antidepressant kinda way. Therapeutic Hypothermia has been practiced for thousands of years. Fact check me, it's the truth! I hate the cold plunge when I’m doing it, but I feel like I’ve had three double espressos and some magic mushrooms after I’ve done it. Try it.

Meditation

This one is huge. When I’m feeling the worst, I go for guided affirmation meditations, since I can’t seem to get my thoughts to pipe down on their own. I’ve been so into the SuperHuman app lately. Lucky girl energy is my 2024 vibe. I also love Gabby Bernstein. In addition, I like to write down a list of things I want to manifest, record it as a voice note, and play it to myself over and over.

*everything I desire is on its way*
*I attract incredible opportunities*
*I am joyful and at peace*
*I am proud of my success*

Be specific! Listen to it and feel it. Believe it. Then watch it start to happen. 

Dance

Everyone loves to dance even if they don’t admit it. Especially in the comfort of their own space with nobody watching. Draw the curtains, turn the lights off and BLAST IT. You feel a little dumb at first but after a few minutes, you're basically Jessica Alba in Honey. Actually, go ahead and play “I Believe” by Yolanda Adams. You could also try a Forward Space class, which is my personal fav activity. The classes always always always put me in a good mood.

A gratitude list.

 Here is the format I use. 

- 3 things you’re grateful for 
- 1 accomplishment you’re proud of 
- 1 thing you like about yourself
- 1 thing you’re looking forward to

You don’t have to go grand with this one. It’s ok to be grateful that you’re breathing. Or that your kids are finally in bed after coming out of their rooms 357 times. It’s also a nice thing to do with your husband when you’re in a stalemate because they called you “Soft on Crime Claire” (I’m an empathetic parent sue me!!)

Social media ban

More often than not, IG makes me feel shitty. I hate to say that because it's such a great way to connect with people, but it's the truth. I’m convinced that I’m not doing enough, or that I’m missing out on something. I find myself living vicariously instead of living my own life. I deleted it for a month before I gave birth to Ford and it did wonders for my mental health. I couldn’t believe how much extra time I had! I highly recommend taking a short break, just please do me this one favor - don’t announce it to your followers lol. 

Go through your photos from the last year

I think you’ll find you achieved, experienced, and enjoyed way more than you realize. I love to do this because it also helps me to remember the speedy passage of time. Nothing is permanent. The bad days/weeks truly don’t last forever. My camera roll is mostly filled with massive smiles, epic adventures, and a lot of love. That’s all we really need in life.

If all else fails, buy a bunch of crystals, sage the shit out of yourself and everything around you.

Xxx

Leave a comment

Thank you for your comment!
Something gone wrong
  • B
    Brittany | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Glad I’m not the only one going through it…ughh what a ride some days. Kids are definitely worth it. I love them so much mine are amazing but crazy! This one really helped me.

  • L
    Lindsay | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Going through something right now & feel pointless & like everything is tooo much for me to handle, like being a mom or even breathing. So thank you for sharing, it helps also knowing you aren’t the only one going through it!

  • C
    Corina | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    I absolutely adore the way you talk! It feels so honest and true… and you don´t get to see lots of that nowadays. Thanks for the inspiration :)

  • K
    Kajol Chawla | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    The work which you are doing is great. I absolutely adore you from your Instagram profile. You give somehow reality check to your followers that it’s not always sunshine and flowers which I absolutely love it. Big fan of yours and your family. Much love xoxo

  • J
    Jennifer | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    This post helped pull me out of a terrible spiral due to medical issues and being out of commission due to two surgeries. I tottered around the back yard and sat under huge magnolias to meditate and then, everything seemed brighter! And as a mom, I know the children bring home every germ and incubation times are fast. Poor parents don’t have a chance! Thank you for this post!

  • J
    Jenny Wisselman | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    This was my first time reading one of your blogs. Instantly signed up for more, well written, funny, relatable, sweet. thank you for the advice and tips!!

  • G
    Ginger Chouinard | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Hi Claire! (Met you briefly in Conyers / THX!) This is great – our hormones also flux and add to the mix. – FEEL IT! AND MAKE A POSITIVE CHOICE – FILL YOUR LOVE CUP FIRST/ YOUR OXYGEN MASK GOES ON FIRST- ONLY THEN CAN YOU POUR LOVE OUT / CALMLY DEAL WITH LIFE/ALL OTHERS. SET BOUNDARIES- PRAISE! PEOPLE AND PETS FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR MY NEW PUPPY AND MY SEVEN YR OLD DOG ARE TEACHING ME AND EACHOTHER. COMMAND (Set Boundaries) – Dogs/ kids/ men 😂😂😂😘🤗 Love, Ginger

  • C
    Claudia | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    I love love Claires vulnerability

  • K
    Kaye Guerard | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    Excellent reminders to challenge those negative core beliefs and work yourself out of the negativity spiral. Self compassion and finding out way out of the darkness is crucial. Thank you!

  • M
    Mel | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    Very solid advice for mental health self care and a fun, relatable read!! You’re a lovely, charming, funny woman! Thanks for sharing, Claire!

  • M
    Melanie Bernhard | 04.03.2024 | 06:03PM

    I do the same!!!! 😊

  • N
    Natalie Croston | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    I’m having the week from hell and there’s some good advice here, thank you x

  • S
    Shaik sonam | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Nice

  • K
    Karen | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    I love that these are such doable strategies! Thankyou so much for sharing. I don’t know why but hearing them from a celebrity that’s a fellow Aussie somehow makes me feel like they’re more achievable. I hope you know how appreciative people are of your realism and honesty on your socials.
    PS. Your kids are super cute!

  • N
    Neri | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Thanks for this!!

  • D
    Domina Rouge | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM

    Thank you for this! 🥰