Pulling myself out of a spiral.
A few weeks ago, I felt like damaged goods. I’d slipped into my nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I might as well go and eat worms mindset. Just moping around feeling sorry for myself. You’re ugly! You’re a loser! You’re the worst mum! Love when those productive voices roll in to give me a pep talk. I spent a few days in a slump until I remembered that I’m actually in control of how I feel, and that it’s my responsibility to stop the spiral. Now that I’m feeling 10/10 mentally, I thought I’d share the tools I used to get my shit together.
Five minutes on the pity pot
It’s unrealistic to think that we can just snap our fingers and change our mindset. Especially when legitimately rough things happen. It doesn’t serve anyone to minimize their feelings, or feel guilty for being human. It just can’t go on forever. So I give myself a time limit. Five minutes for the minor stuff (I’d give you 30 if you were ghosted). Cry, scream, punch a pillow, cancel calls. Do whatever you want to feeeeeeeeel it, but when that timer goes off, its over.
Exercise
I know. No one wants to do a bloody spin class when they’ve spent the last hour crying, but in the infamous words of Elle Woods:
“Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t just shoot their husbands”
It really does make a difference. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, and a nice long walk is good enough (this has the added bonus of fresh air). Just do something to get your blood pumping.
A cold shower
Also torture but in an antidepressant kinda way. Therapeutic Hypothermia has been practiced for thousands of years. Fact check me, it's the truth! I hate the cold plunge when I’m doing it, but I feel like I’ve had three double espressos and some magic mushrooms after I’ve done it. Try it.
Meditation
This one is huge. When I’m feeling the worst, I go for guided affirmation meditations, since I can’t seem to get my thoughts to pipe down on their own. I’ve been so into the SuperHuman app lately. Lucky girl energy is my 2024 vibe. I also love Gabby Bernstein. In addition, I like to write down a list of things I want to manifest, record it as a voice note, and play it to myself over and over.
*everything I desire is on its way*
*I attract incredible opportunities*
*I am joyful and at peace*
*I am proud of my success*
Be specific! Listen to it and feel it. Believe it. Then watch it start to happen.
Dance
Everyone loves to dance even if they don’t admit it. Especially in the comfort of their own space with nobody watching. Draw the curtains, turn the lights off and BLAST IT. You feel a little dumb at first but after a few minutes, you're basically Jessica Alba in Honey. Actually, go ahead and play “I Believe” by Yolanda Adams. You could also try a Forward Space class, which is my personal fav activity. The classes always always always put me in a good mood.
A gratitude list.
Here is the format I use.
- 3 things you’re grateful for
- 1 accomplishment you’re proud of
- 1 thing you like about yourself
- 1 thing you’re looking forward to
You don’t have to go grand with this one. It’s ok to be grateful that you’re breathing. Or that your kids are finally in bed after coming out of their rooms 357 times. It’s also a nice thing to do with your husband when you’re in a stalemate because they called you “Soft on Crime Claire” (I’m an empathetic parent sue me!!)
Social media ban
More often than not, IG makes me feel shitty. I hate to say that because it's such a great way to connect with people, but it's the truth. I’m convinced that I’m not doing enough, or that I’m missing out on something. I find myself living vicariously instead of living my own life. I deleted it for a month before I gave birth to Ford and it did wonders for my mental health. I couldn’t believe how much extra time I had! I highly recommend taking a short break, just please do me this one favor - don’t announce it to your followers lol.
Go through your photos from the last year
I think you’ll find you achieved, experienced, and enjoyed way more than you realize. I love to do this because it also helps me to remember the speedy passage of time. Nothing is permanent. The bad days/weeks truly don’t last forever. My camera roll is mostly filled with massive smiles, epic adventures, and a lot of love. That’s all we really need in life.
If all else fails, buy a bunch of crystals, sage the shit out of yourself and everything around you.
Xxx
Leave a comment
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BBrooke | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
LOVE THIS!
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SS.D | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Thanks for these great reminders and tips
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AAshley | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
This is by far my favorite blog from you! These tips are so helpful and I even screenshotted a few to use in the future for myself. Thanks for sharing❤️
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MMatt | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Great when someone like you normalizes these common feelings. Appreciate the tips ❤️
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CChristina | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
love this so much <3 so helpful
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MMonika | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Truly amazing
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JJaron | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
This is your best post ever and I can’t believe I’m saying that without your face in it.
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JJodi | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
This is all great tools. I am definately gonna start writing things down. When I start to feel like I’m useless I try and put happythoughts out. Also when shit is about to hit the fan, I think how fast am I? Will I get to the outlet and unplug the fan in time.
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SSamantha | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
I’ve been struggling mentally after my second babe. We want a third so bad but mentally I want to have my ducks in a row so I can not only take care of all my babes but also myself! This was wonderful timing to see how others deal with their tough days. It’s not easy to be a mom and it’s even more tough when you aren’t feeling 100% for them.
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JJuliy Puente | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
I love it Claire. Most people think that you’ve got it all so why do you feel down. But you never know what people are feeling inside. Thank you!
Julie -
KKayla Shaw | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Love this! Gonna send it to my friend.
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HHalle | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Thank you Claire for making this safe space for us honestly. ❤️
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EErica Wilson | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Really, really love this! Thank you ♥️
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AAddison | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
I’ve been needing something like this TRULY! I had a baby 9 months ago, not exactly planned. But WE LOVE HER. Anyways postpartum anxiety was real. I didn’t think I could ever have such a thing with my personality but it hit me hard. I thought a million things were wrong with me but this explains it so clearly. We are in control of the way we feel and our thoughts. I’m going to try every thing on here. Thank you for being so real and helping others🤍
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LLea Keith | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Hope I can measure up
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MMegan Howard | 04.05.2024 | 01:30PM
Thank you.