Welcome to my diary! Ok it’s not a real diary because the world doesn’t need me over-sharing any more than I already have. It’s more of a solution to my world class procrastination problem. Every time I sit down to write anything long form, I suddenly find a million tasks to do and end up with a blank page. This takes the pressure off, ya know? It’s just a diary entry! Will I write a paragraph? A memoir? Who knows! Can’t promise you it‘ll be good but at least it’ll be something. 

Today’s diary entry is about something I’ve been ruminating on for months. Sharing my kids on social media. My god am I tortured about it. I’ve gone back and forth over the years, oscillating between look how fucking cute they are the world neeeeeeds to see them and omg there are creeps watching my children and it’s all my fault.

When I first had James it never occurred to me to keep him off the internet. I was so obsessed with my tiny baby and had been through a lot to birth him, so I wanted to share my joy. Not just with friends, but with the followers who had been there for me during my miscarriage and my challenging pregnancy. I found so much comfort connecting with other mothers online, and I thought that showing my family helped to build a community. Plus HE WAS SO YUMMY (let's not talk about his Winston Churchill stage which I was blind to at the time).  

Then came Elle. Since I was already sharing James, I just kept on rolling. I told myself it was fine because it was covid. My world revolved around my family and we were barely leaving the house. What else was I going to talk about? But that’s when I started noticing more and more people doing the opposite. Emojis on the face, or taking their kids off all together. 

Well shit. Was I making a mistake? Andy and I had a few convos about it and agreed that it was ok. We were careful about security and we tried not to overdo it - we certainly weren’t posting our kids bolting around the house in the nude. 

But now that Ford is here I think I’m swinging the other way. I feel like an asshole sharing them. I’m scared of people watching. I’m scared they’re going to hate me when they’re older. James asked me about “going viral” the other day and it made me want to rock back and forth in the fetal position. We’re learning so much more about the harmful effects of social media every day - does that include showing your kids? I really don’t know. 

I just want to be the best mum I can, which means I overthink every single scenario pertaining to their wellbeing. Are there more important things to worry about? Probably. Will I keep sharing them? I really don’t know. I love sharing my life and my family with my amazing, supportive social network. I also don’t want to make a choice that negatively impacts my children just because I’m obsessed with the latest cute thing they said, or how scrumptious they look in their little baby bow tie. 

For now the jury is still out. I’m pretty sure I know what the experts would tell me, and I’m slowly making my way there.

*sigh*

Let’s all just go back to our IG-free Nokia 3310s.  

Love,

Claire