Pregnancy Diary, 03

Written by CLAIRE HOLT | Nov 2, 2023

After 157 long years, my 3rd trimester is finally coming to a close. If I’m being honest, I found the first 28 weeks much harder than these last ones. Meeting my baby just seemed so damn far away. I couldn’t wrap my head around how I was going to tolerate feeling like dog shit for such a long time, but somehow I managed and here we are! Now I’m frantically trying to get everything done before he arrives because I’m superstitious and leave everything until the last minute. It seems like he’ll be joining us a little sooner than expected but I’ll get to that later….

I’ve been on a real emotional rollercoaster this pregnancy. Just when I thought I’d snapped out of my funk, I was right back in it. At 28 weeks, we traveled to Denver for a family event and it wrecked me. I was in so much pain, I was exhausted, and just really f*cking over feeling bad. I cried all the time and even though I knew I should be grateful, I hated every minute of being pregnant. Up until that point I’d been running around like a lunatic, throwing children on my back, squatting and thrusting like an Olympic hopeful, and calling myself lazy if I even thought about skipping a workout or a social event.

Once we arrived back in Miami for the school year, I decided things needed to change. I let go of the weird part of me that needed to stay fit, and I stopped obsessing over what I was accomplishing on a daily basis. I swapped weights for yoga, and HIIT for walking. I started prioritizing PT, acupuncture, and stretching, and whaddaya know, my pain went away! Sure my hips still felt a little crunchy, but I was no longer crippled by sciatica or back spasms. It’s almost as if being kind to yourself…works. Wild! 

Things were going pretty smoothly until 32 weeks when I caught COVID. It wasn’t cute. Fever, exhaustion, muscle aches, the whole shebang. I was super anxious, especially given that I’d had pneumonia during my first trimester (though I ended up recovering pretty well after a week). After that experience, I decided to give myself and my baby as much protection as possible so I opted for the Flu and RSV vaccines. Giving birth around the holidays is all fun and games until your kid comes home from school with another virus and you’re in the PICU with a newborn, so I’m not taking any chances. 

As far as my emotional state, it’s been much better since I signed off social media for a while. I was addicted to the news cycle, and felt like I was being pulled into a dark hole every time I opened my phone. People were saying horrible things to me based on assumptions they’d made, and I was sad and frightened. I knew that wasn’t the kind of environment that my baby needed to thrive, so I reached out to a very smart friend (who happens to run this blog for me since I’m as tech savvy as a llama), and she suggested I take a break. Such sage advice. I felt like I could breathe again and I was able to focus on what was right in front of me - my beautiful family. I was present, calm, and dare I say enjoying the last stretch of pregnancy, which of course meant a curve ball was headed my way lol. 

Two Sundays ago, I was relishing in the most relaxing morning I’d had since having children. Andy took the kids to Palm Beach, arranged a yoga session for me, and encouraged me to enjoy the alone time before things got wild again. Told ya I married a peach. I’d just finished a lovely solo lunch when my headache started. I know they’re super common during pregnancy so I wasn’t too worried, but figured I’d check my blood pressure just to be safe. It was high af. I’ve always trended on the lower side so it was definitely a shock, but I told myself that it was probably a mistake and got on with things. Over the next week, I had one or two more episodes of headaches and high BP so I mentioned it to my OB at our appt. I 100% expected her to tell me I was just being dramatic, but it turns out they don’t mess around with gestational hypertension. Since then I’ve been monitoring my BP at home (and it’s definitely elevated so I guess I’m not faking it), and have twice weekly appointments until I’m induced next week. 

I can’t believe I’m going to meet him so soon. I’ve been waiting and waiting for this moment, and now I’m feeling frazzled because it’s almost here and I’m completely out of control. I’m definitely anxious given my medical situation, but I know that I’m in good hands, and I have faith that he’ll be perfect. I’m excited to share my birth story but until then I thought I’d finish up with a little rapid fire Q&A about my FINAL pregnancy.

Best weeks: 13 + 35 (announcing my pregnancy, feeling at peace)

Hardest weeks: 7, 11, 28 + 32  (morning sickness, pneumonia, sciatica, Covid) 

Something I learned about myself: I’m not as tough as I thought I was lol

Something I’d do differently: I’d like to say I’d complain less but who am I kidding. More massages? 

Something I’m proud of: Staying married 

Something that surprised me: How different this pregnancy has been to the others

Biggest craving: Lemon popsicles 

Biggest fear: Struggling with Postpartum 

Biggest blessing: Seeing how excited my two others are. Watching them kiss my belly and talk to the baby makes it all worth it.

Catch ya on the flip side with number 3 in arms!! 

C x 

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  • L
    Leticia | 01.31.2024 | 02:23PM

    You are incredible! I love you! Never stop publishing.

  • N
    Natasha | 01.29.2024 | 04:19PM

    Loved reading this and oh I feel you! 29 weeks here and gestational hypertension is a mind clobbering experience (I’m at risk of preeclampsia eek!). My baby girl is growing well (expected to be 3.6kgs when she pops out) and that helps keep anxiety down but the insomnia, pain and everything in the middle is a struggle for sure.