Dating advice for my daughter.

Written by CLAIRE HOLT | Feb 28, 2023
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I’ve learned a lot over the years.

I’ve been dumped, ghosted, kissed plenty of frogs, had a failed marriage, and am currently living my dream in an epic one. One thing I know for sure is that Elle will have her heart broken. Okay, maybe it’s not a certainty because she’s a savage, but chances are very high. When that day comes and we are crying into a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s whilst watching Pretty Woman for the 37th time, I’ll show her this. Maybe she’ll take advice from her old gal or maybe she’ll tell me I have no idea what I’m talking about. Either way, I’m prepared.

1. Don’t ever change who you are for someone else. I did it over and over again until I got sick of pretending I liked football. Not only is it exhausting, it just delays the inevitable.  As soon as I decided to be unapologetically myself (even if that meant being single with nine cats), I met Andrew. 

2. If they tell you they don’t want you to look/feel sexy, they’re insecure and a control freak. Run, don’t walk. 

3. If they don’t want you to have friendships outside of the relationship (male or female), refer to part two. 

4. If they cheat on you once, they’ll probably do it again. 

5. If they don’t post you on their social media or take you out in public, you’re the home piece. Get outta there. 

6. Once you start telling lies in a relationship, it’s already over. Feeling like you have to hide something from your partner means you’re being shady, or they’re psycho. 

7. Communication is the MOST important thing. You can have all the passion in the world, but if you can’t fight fair and communicate calmly about your issues, it won’t work. 

8. Be interested. Stay curious. People want to feel seen and heard. 

9. If your gut tells you something’s not right, listen to it. 

10. Evaluate who their closest friends are. It says a lot about a person. 

11. If they don’t text you back, don’t text again. 

12. Be with someone who makes you feel beautiful when you look like shit.  

13. Compromise. You don’t have to win every argument. Pick the hill you’re willing to die on and let the rest go. Unless you have many hills and then you probably need some therapy. 

14. Therapy is awesome! Do it! 

15. Don’t look for someone to complete you. When you’re good on your own, the right person will come along. 

16. Don’t play games except for one tiny one at the beginning where you pretend you never poop. 

17. If their phone is always facing down on the table, they’re up to no good. 

18. If someone tells you they’re not ready, believe them. Don’t wait around. 

19. Be with someone who is proud of your accomplishments and happy to let you shine. 

20. Relationships take work — marry the one who makes the work feel easy. 

I’m no expert, but I hooked a 12/10 husband so I must be doing something right. Either that or I tricked him and now he’s stuck. We’ll never know! 

C x